Boxed Lunches
by Apatheia
Summary: When dealing with an act of kindness from Number XI, one could usually expect to die in a few hours or end up losing something valuable.


**Title:** Boxed Lunches  
**Author:** Apatheia  
**Characters:** Saїx and Xemnas, with mentions of Marluxia  
**Rating:** PG/K+  
**Summary:** When dealing with an act of kindness from Number XI, one could usually expect to die in a few hours or end up losing something valuable.  
**Disclaimer:** It all belongs to Square Enix and Disney. Please don't sue; the only thing you would get is a few dollars in change and some Kingdom Hearts tee-shirts.

* * *

**Boxed Lunches**

They were _pink_, Xemnas noted with faint distaste as he stared at the boxed lunches lying innocently on his desk. His gaze was harsh and unwavering, and had they been human, the boxed lunches surely would have started trembling in fear. Sadly, this was not the case and they continued to sit there innocently, almost mocking him with their pinkness.

Xemnas was unsure just how to handle the unwanted obstacles on his paperwork. He was well aware that the pink monstrosities contained food of some sort (probably a variety of unhealthy things, knowing Marluxia) and he was even aware that the food was meant to be eaten. However, when dealing with an act of 'kindness' from Number XI, one could usually expect to die in a few hours or end up losing something valuable.

Neither was an option that appealed to Xemnas.

Too focused on devising an elaborate plan to rid his self of the boxed lunches, Xemnas never heard the knock on the door. Nor did he hear the sound of it creaking open as Saїx allowed himself entrance into a place normally off limits to the other members.

"You wished to speak with me, Sir?"

The question snapped Xemnas from his thoughts and he glanced up, orange eyes meeting gold. With an expression of utmost seriousness, Xemnas rose from his chair.

"Ah, yes. I-"

"What are those?" Saїx interrupted, one pale blue brow raised in question as his gaze locked onto the boxed lunches.

Xemnas didn't very much appreciate being interrupted, but he allowed the offense to pass in favor of more important matters. One of those matters was how to rid himself of the pink monstrosities; the other was arranging another 'meeting' with Saїx.

"Those, Saїx, are boxed lunches," he explained simply, gesturing towards the hideous things with a wave of his hand.

"Clearly," Saїx said dryly, tilting his head to the side slightly. His golden gaze rose to observe Xemnas. "But why do you have Marluxia's boxed lunches?"

"It is not as though I wished for the hideous obstructions to be on my desk. In fact, I would be glad to be rid of them and continue on with my paperwork. However, I have yet found a fitting way dispose of them."

Unfazed by the long rant of sorts, Saїx walked over to the desk and stared down at the boxed lunches hard. "…Have you tried eating them?"

"Of course not."

"Xemnas, with all do respect, I do believe you should just eat the ridiculous things and be done with them."

Saїx lifted up one of the lids to a boxed lunch and instantly froze. Within the box lay an unrecognizable substance that didn't look remotely edible. Saїx was unsure whether the charred substance was actually food or the remains of that moogle Axel had fried last week. Either way, the remains smelled absolutely horrid and it took all of his control not to cover his nose.

With a cautiousness better suited for an unfamiliar opponent than food (though in this case, there really wasn't a difference), Saїx prodded a charred piece of…something with a gloved finger. The substance did not budge in the slightest and he could only deduce that it was stuck to the bottom of the box.

"It is painfully obvious that Marluxia simply cannot cook," Xemnas supplied, staring down at the charred food as though it was worse than the dirt on his boots.

"Clearly."

Xemnas picked up a piece of burnt food, rubbing it in between his fingers. The…thing crumbled in his grasp and landed on his desk in a small pile, leaving a grey mess all over the papers. Unconcerned that it would leave an even bigger mess, he brushed the crumbs into the trash bin beside his desk. His eyes slid over to the rest of the food and he nearly grimaced.

"I do believe Number XI desires that new position of lord at Castle Oblivion," Xemnas mused softly, taking the boxed lunches and dumping them into the trash.

Saїx once more arched a brow in question, placing the lid in his hand on the desk. "And do you seriously plan on giving it to him?"

"Of course. After all, I cannot have that fool making everyone sick with his atrocious culinary skills." Xemnas shot Saїx a look that dared him to question his decision.

With a small sigh of resignation, Saїx turned and headed towards the door. "I shall inform him of your decision, then."


End file.
